Why I don't like outdoor life

Where did that come from you might be thinking... Just because.

#1 Reason: There is no electricity.

   Meaning: no recharging your cellphone, no computer, no TV, no electronic equipment... did I mention no TV? Really, I'd rather be shot.

#2 Reason: Outdoor toilets.

   There's nothing worse than taking a leek outside. First of all, there is the challenge of finding the proper bush... it has to be one far away from the rest of people (because unless you have a Paris Hilton complex, you don't want to flash your junk) and at the same time it needs to be tall enough to hide behind but not too bushy so that the leaves stick out too much and tickle your pubes. Then there's the toilet paper situation. What the hack do you do with the used paper? Throw it on the ground? Ick! Save it in a paper bag and make a knot? Sure! But what do you do with the paper bag with the used toilet paper? Keep it all in the tent until you leave? Disgusting...
And then, you might be "lucky" enough to find and outdoor toilet. Oh yeah... good old outdoor toilet. A wooden bench with a hole in it that smells like cow shed and which you know has not been washed EVER. Because you can't wash wood. Not a good place to be sick in the stomach, right?

#3 Reason: Insects. And reptiles... and wildlife in general.

   If you think that because you like puppies you are a big animal lover, think again. Out there there's nothing but mosquitos, bees, flies, wasps, lizzards, cockroaches... just to name a few.

#4 Reason: Sleeping in a tent.

   And if it starts raining you'll see how much fun it is.

#5 Reason: There are no showers.

   Being trapped in a small tent with the pungent smell of sweaty armpits is not my idea of holiday fun.

So there! I said it! Hehe, it's not like I am a tent nazi or anything, I can handle a couple of nights, but I'd much rather sleep at a hotel to be honest!